American Idol 2012
Today we’re all excited because American Idol Season 11 kicks off tonight, bringing back Randy Jackson, J-Lo, and Steven Tyler to judge America’s talented young women and men on performances they gave during several national auditions last year. The first few shows will follow the traditional format, with a little joking around, a lot of really bad audition clips, and the occasional moving story highlighting one contestant’s personal story briefly before rolling his or her audition tape, always leaving us guessing as to whether this person would go to Hollywood or be dismissed. It’s a game we’re all familiar with, and we haven’t played it in so long we’re practically chomping at the bit — but some things we’re familiar with can actually take a permanent hike. Want to know what they are?
First up: Randy Jackson saying “dawg.” That’s right, Randy, we love you, man, but it’s the same old word from you all the time. It’s like someone’s scratching vinyl or something. Can’t you try out some new words for us this season? Some other words and phrases that could be cut back just a tad are “dude,” “dude, that was not good for me,” “man,” “dawg pound, we got a hot one tonight,” and “you could sing the phonebook.” We’ve heard that a lot, really, and it’s gotten a bit stale — or, as Simon used to say too often, “it’s hideous.”
We will be looking forward to counting how many times Randy utters any of the aforementioned words and phrases as we check out American Idol tonight on its designated channel, based on the lineup we got after registering for satellite television at http://www.nonstopvid.com and getting access to tons of music channels as well as all the network stations. This is going to be so much fun tonight, y’all, so be sure to tune in and you won’t miss a thing.
We’ll also be checking out J-Lo’s wardrobe of course. She was still with ex-hubby Marc Anthony during his last performance on the show last season, when he sang and she danced. Now, the two are rumored to be continuing on with former plans to complete a joint project in reality television — but don’t expect another appearance on American Idol by Anthony. The marriage is really over, say sources from both camps.
And speaking of marriage, this year Steven Tyler is an engaged man! Maybe he will dish about his new fiancee on the new Idol season. Either way, it’s going to be a great show.
